Dear Diary

I think we are human for a reason.  We aren't born angels....we aren't born saints.  As soon as we take our first breath of air...we are flawed.  I'm not a religious person so won't use all of that bullshit rhetoric about "God's image", because let me tell you, if I was born in God's image...he is one fucked up spiritual being.

I think what I am getting at here....at 4:21 a.m., is that I gave up worrying about being perfect a while back.  I live my life the best I can...but sometimes "wrong" just seeks me out, and I can't help that. I do not look for wrong, it just seems to know where I'm at from time to time.  I do honestly consider myself a good person...a good man, and I think to know me, most people would tell you the same thing.  I just come with a disclaimer, and I'm very open about that.

I am in love....in love with someone 10 out of 10 people would say is the wrong person.  I would be the first to agree, but love found me...love said "Honey I'm home".  Shoot, I could come up with more reasons she is the wrong person faster than my local preacher...but you know what? I'm in love....After writing on the chalkboard 100 times "I will not fall in love with the wrong person"...guess what, I'm still in love.  After, climbing to the top of a mountain and seeking out the advice of a 100 year old guru wearing an "I Know Everything, Just Ask Me" t-shirt, guess what? I'm still in love.

Now, luckily the wrong person is a better human being than I am...I guess she is more God's image than me, because I would take her in my arms faster than you can say "What in God's name are you doing??" Thank goodness she won't allow that to happen, she knows others are involved.  The only "right" I am able to muster in all of this is not to cause her problems. To only ask her not to disappear back into her life without me...to leave a window cracked so I can peek in from time to time and see her smile.

I know I'm not perfect, and gave up that charade a long time ago....I'm in love with the wrong person, and well, I'm good with that.